• January 30, 2023
• 0 comments

Parshas B’shalach has some high highs and some low lows. Bnai Yisrael left Egypt and crossed the Yam Suf, received heavenly bread, and were led in the desert by Hashem Himself with a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire. Inspirational highs. But we also have the beginnings of years of complaints in B’shalach. From the point the nation stood at the banks of the Yam Suf with Pharaoh's army pursuing from behind, the complaints and accusations against Moshe started. And these complaints surfaced again and again over the next forty years. “Are there not enough graves in Egypt that you brought us here to die in the wilderness?.... It is better for us to serve Mitzrayim than to die in the wilderness!” Can you imagine? After the ten plagues, after leaving Mitzrayim after 210 years of servitude and after witnessing open miracles, Bnai Yisrael turned against Moshe with such venom? It seems appalling and very problematic. However, there is another way to frame this encounter and it is explained in the Sefer Kuzari by Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi as noted by Rav Shamshon Refael Hirsch. This perspective doesn't condone the attacks on Moshe, but it does shift the paradigm to view this Parsha differently. You see, says R’ Yehudah HaLevi, the very fact that the Jewish people were argumentative, and pushed back against their leader, is proof that they weren’t hypnotized, duped, or easily taken in. They weren't brainwashed or feeble-minded. Their minds were clear, their thoughts were lucid, and they didn’t simply accept situations that seemed perilous. And yet, this same stubborn nation was willing to completely accept Hashem’s Torah, and they were willing to completely trust Moshe Rabeinu and his teachings, not only temporarily, but for thousands of years throughout difficult and perilous times. Those original complaints and arguments provide important evidence of the authenticity of Moshe and Hashem’s Torah. The same nation that wouldn’t blindly trust, even after ten plagues, but rather argued and fought, that same nation accepted Hashem’s Torah completely and devotedly and that speaks to the truth and overwhelming impact of Moshe’s teachings. What’s happening here is really fascinating. The facts are still the facts. At the Yam Suf, right after leaving Mitzrayim, Bnai Yisrael turned against Moshe with complaints and accusations. Yet, Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi and Rabbi Hirsch show us that without changing the facts, we can choose to change our perspectives. We can reframe the story and look at it from another perspective, a framework that speaks to the glory and honesty of the Torah, Moshe, and the Jewish people. It’s up to us how we want to see the situation. As mothers, we have this opportunity all the time. Our children’s behavior is what it is. The facts can be there, crystal clear. And yet we choose how we frame it to ourselves. Do we frame it as, “This child is pushing my buttons” or “He’s trying to manipulate me”, or “How can she speak that way after all I’ve done for her?” or can we see the same facts differently? Perhaps my child’s behavior is trying to tell me how much pain he’s in right now, or how scared she is or simply that he’s overtired or hungry. One Shabbos, one of my children abruptly and abrasively called to me from across the room. I don’t even remember what he said. But I do remember that my husband whispered to me, “Look, he’s trying to engage with you!” In one short comment he helped me reframe my perspective, to not get upset at the style or content of the words, but to see and respond to the desire for connection inherent in his communication. That is the gift of perspective. We can’t change reality, but we can choose how to see it. We can choose to shift the paradigm. And when we shift our paradigm to one of positivity, potential, and goodness, then we give the gift of that new paradigm to our children and they learn to see themselves as tenacious, not stubborn, persuasive, not argumentative, stimulating, not challenging, creative, not messy, and the gift of that perspective amazingly yields a new reality.