Parshas Mikeitz - Beauty In the Eye of the Beholder
Chanukah sameach! There is an amazing Rashi on Parshas Mikeitz that I want to share with you this week. Parshas Mikeitz begins with Pharaoh's dreams. The first dream involved seven beautiful, healthy cows who were swallowed up by seven gaunt, thin cows. What would you assume was the symbolism of the seven beautiful cows? Many of us would think that they represent the years of plenty simply because there will be abundant produce, and the cows will become fat and good looking on the land’s prodigious output. Fascinatingly, that is not what Rashi says we are supposed to learn from the seven beautiful cows! Listen to this: יפות מראה. סִימָן הוּא לִימֵי שֹׂבַע, שֶׁהַבְּרִיּוֹת נִרְאוֹת יָפוֹת זוֹ לָזוֹ, שֶׁאֵין עֵין בְּרִיָּה צָרָה בַחֲבֶרְתָּהּ: Of beautiful appearance: this is a sign for the days of abundance when people appear beautiful to each other because no one is jealous of another. Did you catch that? The cows didn’t look good because they objectively were handsome after grazing on rich marsh grasses. They looked good because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and during years of abundance, when each person has an abundance of what they need, people look at each other with an ayin tova, a generous benevolent eye, and their friends subsequently appear beautiful to them. When we feel well-taken care of, we look at others’ blessings without greediness. But when we feel deprived, nothing that anyone else has looks good to us because we are viewing others with stinginess and jealousy. This hit me with such force because I find it so true that the difference in my children appearing adorable or infuriating to me is often directly related to how well-rested and satiated I am at that time. When I feel taken care of, my children look wonderful to me. They’re cute, funny, and talented. But my same children look very different when I feel worn out and depleted. Then, what may have been cute yesterday is frustrating today. Rashi is teaching us that there is no objective standard of beauty. The same person, the same object, appears differently to us based on our perspective. As we start a very busy Chanukah week, I’d like to remind all of us to fill our own cups up first! If we take care of ourselves so that we feel blessed and surrounded by abundant goodness, we will see our family the same way. They will look beautiful and adorable, and we’ll be able to enjoy being with each other, seeing everyone with an ayin tova.
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