Parshas Vayigash - Divine Plans
Parshas Vayigash is the climax of the Yosef story. Finally, Yosef dramatically reveals himself to his brothers and is reunited with his family. Back when the brothers plotted to eliminate the threat of Yosef ruling them, the Torah says they mocked him saying, “We shall see what becomes of his dreams!” Yet the Medrash says, the brothers said “We will kill him” and Hashem continued with the phrase, “We will see what will become of his dreams. We will see whose plan will prevail, yours or mine.” Because, nothing, absolutely nothing can overpower the Divine plan. In Mishlei, Shlomo HaMelech says, “There is neither wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against Hashem.” Not even the smartest person can subvert Hashem’s plan. This is the theme that Yosef stresses over and over in our Parsha, Vayigash. “Lo atem shlachten osi heina, ki HaElokim”,. You didn’t send me here, it was Hashem. Don’t be sad, don’t be angry at yourselves, this wasn’t you. This was Hashem setting history in motion. Mothers are supremely important. I believe that with every fiber of my being and yet, I also know, we all know, that we are nothing more than Hashem’s instruments in raising our children. We try hard to have the right conversations, avoid the wrong ones, serve the right food, set up the right schedule, find the right doctors and therapists, build for our children the environments in which they can flourish, and at the end of the day know that none of that is what will make the difference. It is Hashem’s plan, and Hashem’s plan only that will bring our children through to adulthood. It sounds like a difficult dichotomy, but so much of living life as a Torah Jew involves holding two opposing realities and knowing they both are true. “Lo alecha hamelacha ligmor…” We don’t have the responsibility or ability to control how our children grow and develop, but we also have the obligation to stick with it, day after day, doing our best, and letting go of the outcome. This message is important for us when we do something that we think will derail our children - we need to remind ourselves, we can’t do that. Only Hashem has that power. And it’s important when we think someone else in our children’s lives has derailed them. Yes, we all have the experience of a bad interaction, a bad decision, something that someone else did that impacted our child negatively and it hurts. But then we stop and remind ourselves, deep down to our inner essence that Hashem runs the world. No one can harm my child without Hashem decreeing that that is the best thing for my child today. The more we adopt Yosef’s attitude as our own, the easier it is for us to ride through the inevitable challenges and setbacks of life with our children. “Vayishlacheini Elokim Lifneichem” Yosef said, “Hashem sent me before you to give you sustenance and a future.” You thought you had harmed me, in fact Hashem made the opposite happen. Because we are responsible to do our best day by day, but we accept and know, that dvar Hashem yakum l’olam, it is Hashem’s word that controls and creates reality.
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